Archive for the ‘Bi-polar diary’ Category

World’s worst blog: Reality testing

Monday, June 2nd, 2008

Since I have temporarily claimed the title of the world’s worst blog I thought I ought to do some reality testing. So here are the statistics available to me.

Technorati publishes a sort of Championship League of the world’s bloggers. Today they are ranking me at 334,267 in the World League. Which surprised me because the last time I looked at it, The Daily Novel was about 470,000, and in May I did fewer blogs than usual because of technical problems. (For comparison in my first few weeks of blogging my rank was about 1.9 million.)

The SlimStat figures from WordPress tell me that yesterday I had 2,278 hits and 221 visits. The figures provided by my hosting service, www.1and1.co.uk report that I had 1,367 page views and 732 visits yesterday.

I have found this huge discrepancy between WordPress and 1and1 when I have checked the figures in the past, and decided that I should not waste my time on damn statistics.

This morning I was more persistent and looked at the monthly figures for the last twelve months. I found that 1and1 consistently shows me with four or five times as many visits per month as does WordPress. But that, with the exception of one month, the figures for WordPress hits are almost the same as the figures for 1and1 page impressions. In May I scored 60,000 hits with WordPress and 57,000 page views on 1and1. Last June both 1and1 and WordPress scored me at 30,000 hits.
This helped to ease my depression because it means both companies think I have twice as many readers as a year ago. And it compares with my 1and1 scores of 4,000 for the first month of my blog in August 2006 and 22,000 in January 2007. Still very bad compared with the Daily Telegraph and The Guardian, but at least the gradient is upward.

As for the huge gap in the figures for visits I wonder if it is something to do with the way the two companies deal with spam. The WordPress spam filter, Akismet, tells me that it has stopped 65,000 spam comments.

Anyone out there who knows whether this conjecture has truth?

Quite the worst blog in the whole wide world

Monday, June 2nd, 2008

Woke up this morning realising that I have not written a blog since a week yesterday. Partly due to the fact that the grandchildren have been visiting, and as my headline indicates I have been spending some time talking to them. As well as knocking down an ugly veranda at my house which none of the family liked.

But I have also been making a serious effort to learn more about computing and particularly the program I use to deliver this blog, WordPress. Amongst other things I have been reading the works of Lorelle vanFossen, who seems to be the Madonna of the WordPress world. She tells me in her latest
blog

that ‘A clear purpose will make or break your blog’. She has convinced me that I am doing everything wrong and that I should order her book from Amazon without delay. Here is this blogger who has been writing recently about anorexia, about which he knows little; the Lyme Regis landslip with pics; why Gordon Brown should be replaced by a leader in waiting; what Cherie Blair revealed in her book; the Obama/Clinton contest; and, some rather technical stuff about computer problems, WordPress and its attempt to mount the first

UK WordCamp
in Birmingham.

No clear purpose in that lot.
So I have decided to use this headline as the sub-head of The Daily Novel blog until I feel less depressed.

Sun, not rain, in Lyme Bay today

Sunday, May 25th, 2008

The rain that blighted much of Britain’s Bank Holiday left Lyme Bay alone during daylight hours. The sun broke through the cloud to lighten the riverside walk at Dartmouth yesterday afternoon. The beach at Charmouth has been crowded all day, and there were still a few enjoying the late evening sunshine when I took the picture below just now. Those who stayed home after listening to the weather forecast missed out.

The sunset rises at last

Saturday, May 17th, 2008

Apologies to Hemingway for the headline, but making this small change to the header of The Daily Novel has taken hours in the past week, but days and weeks and months if I am brutally honest. Even though readers may think that this means I am either demented or stupid or a terribly slow learner. Because I first tried to use one of my own photographs at the top of the opening screen a month or two after I begain this blog in August, 2008. I then followed all the instructions on the WordPress help pages, and even bought a book on HTML to help me understand what was happening.

In this latest saga I began by downloading an alternative design from the band of WordPress developers, who offer help to bloggers. This particular design already had a photo in it and it also had several other features, which I wanted, like a four column format. I did manage to get my own photograph in, but the design made my blog much more difficult to read. And this affected all the blogs in the archives, as well as the new entries.

I tried to get in touch with the author, but his web page gave an error message as did his email address. Maybe he has been driven mad by writing all this computer code and has taken early retirement and has started a second career instructing Cailifornians how to surf the waves. Which must be a much healthier lifestyle than trying to help them surf the net.

So I decided to stick with the default design for WordPress called Kubrick,which was written by a 29-year-old Dane, Michael Heilemann. It is so called because Heilemann is a fan of Clockwork Orange. You can read about this in his blog.

Armed with the Visual Quickstart Guide to WordPress 2, I set about adapting the Kubrick design to my needs. I followed the instructions to the letter, and checked, and checked again. But nothing was changed.

So I went back to trial and error. In the header.php file I renamed the image for Kubrick, KubrickOld. Then I changed the name to my image to kubrickheader.jpg.

Movement at last. I could see the edges of my photo around the slab of green colour. I tried several ways of getting rid of it without success. But I thought I could make it transparent that would achieve my aim. More reading of the book and the help pages to find the right code to replace the 33CC33 code for the green slab. I could not find any code for transparency, but I did establish that 000000 produced the deepest black. So I keyed in 999999. And it worked as you can see.

There is much else that I want to change. But on this experience it seems to me that the problem for bloggers is not the shortage of help but the abundance of it. It is finding the crucial thing you need, using the book index and scanning (because not everything is in the best index) and going interminably from page to page on the WordPress Codex help pages.

Lyme Bay is more than landslips

Monday, May 12th, 2008

Bored with all these technical problems, I picked up my camera and went on to the terrace. Below is the view of the beach. It is a sultry early summer day and the heat haze obscures the view to Portland Bill, but otherwise I cannot complain.

The aged beech tree in my garden, which I feared was dead, has finally greened.

The geraniums are not yet past their best.


And the early evening sun shining through the trees makes this picture a little less boring than most pictures of washing on the line. And at least it shows we are doing our bit against global warming by not using the tumble drier.

Our cliff falls into the sea

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008

While I was sleeping as soundly as usual last night, a churk of the cliff was falling into the sea only a few hundred yards away. Said to be the worst landslip on this natural heritage coast on Lyme Bay for over one hundred years. Earlier today the coastguard were warning people to stay off the beach, because of the further risk of falls of rock as big as car engines. Now, apparently it is thought to be safe. The fall is likely to have dislodged a treasure trove of fossils, because this part of the coast is one of the richest sources of fossils in the country. This is the link to an amazing BBC video taken from the air which hovers slowly over the scene of devastation.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7388564.stm

I am afraid that you will have to copy and paste this URL in because I have not yet mastered the art of inserting links in this new version of WordPress.

Since I had spent the morning merrily blogging away about Hillary Clinton and Gordon Brown I had no idea what had happened until my sister telephoned me. The landslip is on my right as I type here looking out to sea.

The coast on my left, which has even higher cliffs going up to Stonebarrow Hill and the Golden Cap was undamaged last night, as you can see from my picture below. But it did suffer a smaller landslip in the middle of January and a section of te costal path is still closed there.


Bambi calls on May Day

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

Neighbours had told me that a deer stalked our gardens at night, but I thought it was about as likely as the Beast on Bodmin Moor. However, on the May Bank holiday the evidence dropped into my mail box. Above is the image caught on camera by the intrepid deer hunter across the street, Neil John.


The Agony without the Ectasy

Sunday, May 4th, 2008

My life has been so dominated by matters computing since my blog was blacked by Google because of a Chinese bug that had reached me from a not so slow boat from China, that I cannot even spell let alone write coherently. It is not only the hours of work that has been necessary it is the emotional strain. Since I know enough about computing to know that such bugs can lead to the horrors of identity theft, I had to be extra careful not to do anything which might make things even worse, by exposing my friends and readers to the horrors of identity theft.

That risk is now over, I hope. But in order to make my site more secure in future I have had to update to WordPress 5. Which meant, given my still imperfect knowledge of WordPress, that I have might have disabled myself from being able to blog at all, and lost the results of nearly two years work.

Yesterday, after several hours of work, Ii pressed the key which commited my site to the WP5. And then I pressed another key to get back into my blog. Only to get an error message. I thought I had fowled up but happily I had only made a minor mistake, which I was able to rectify.

Today, I was hoping to get back to writing blogs, and one part of my mind was already writing about the May Day massacre of Gordon Brown, the astonishing rise of the bicycling bonkers Boris Johnson, and how Obama is standing up to strain of the Presidential campaign, now that the racial undertones have erupted thanks to the further inflammatory statements, pedalled in many parts of the media, of his Pastor.

But I realise that before I can concentrate on the content of my blogs I have to spend more hours learing about the new version of WordPress.

Crises like these drive me to the manic side of my manic depressive temperament, which is exhiliarting, but also dangerous, because in manic overdrive, I am not always accessible to the needs of others around me.

It also leads me to try and do several things at once.

On Friday I had decided needed to know a lot more about WordPress. And I had discovered that WordPress developers run WordCamps, where they gather together to discuss and solve problems. There is one in Paris this weekend, and manic Bob wanted to jump on a plane at Exeter airport on Friday night and join them for the weekend. Until he realised that would have meant him spending most of his time on the logistics of getting there. Starting with finding out whether you actually can fly to Paris from Exeter and whether there are any seats on the plane.

So I have decided go to the first UK Word Camp, which is in Brimingham on 19 July. If you are interested the URL is http://wordcampuk.bluemilkshake.co.uk/.

You will have to type it in yourself. Because I have not yet learnt how to insert links into WP5.


Sitting in the rain in Thomas Hardy country

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008

hardyhouse.jpg 

Sitting in the rain in the car park at Tesco in Axminster at midday gazing out at a scene of total gloom. Not a refreshing April shower but an unrelenting downpour that has been going on all morning. And a sky which is promising that it will go on all afternoon. In front of me tanned young men, coatless and hatless, are running from their cars to the shelter of the store. Little old ladies are struggling to control their trolleys and their umberellas as they hurry out with their groceries. And one of the few carless shoppers, a middle-aged Chinese woman,  sitting on the seat beside, hoping against hope, that the rain would stop. After a wait of ten minutes or so, she shrugged her shoulders, took up her trolley, and walked off to the ramp that leads into the town. Not only did she not have a car, she did not have an umbrella. So she will got seriously wet.

This is the sort of weather which drives those prone to SAD (seasonal affective depression) to despair. And it plunged me into the glooms when I was a boy whenever it happened during the cricket season. Depression, as anyone who has suffered from it will tell you, is different from ordinary sadness. When it hits it leaves you with no energy to do anything, because the way you feel it seems like anything you do is not going to make any difference.

Back here in my bungalow the wind is up and rain is spattering the window panes. Portland Bill is hidden by the murk but I can see the beach, which is deserted, but the light brown sand relieves  the greyness. And the dark green sea is ligthtened by row upon row of frothy white horses.

Quite apart from the weather I have another reason to sink into depression. The chances are that most of the potential readers who happen upon this post via Google will not read it, because of the warning message that Google has put up, warning them that reading my blog may harm their computer. I have as yet had no useful reply to the emails I dashed off a couple of days ago asking for help and guidance as to how to get this warning removed, now that Spy Doctor has pronounced my computer free of even low risk dodgy software. And I realise it may take several days or weeks to get clearance. Or worse that I might not ever be able to move the mighty Google Goliath with my puny catapult.

But as of now I have not sunk into depression. My energy took me to the keyboard as soon as I returned from Axminster. To write, amoungst other things, about the paradox. One of the reasons I have chosen to live in Dorset, is that it does have areas like Egdon Heath, desolate exposed heathland that even today can be life-threatening if you get lost in the mist and have inadequate clothing. I knew that from the novels of Thomas Hardy, long before I had visited Dorset.

Though Hardy’s novels are depressing, in that many of his heroes and heroines come to a sorry end, because of fatal flaws in their own personalities, or because of  the forces of nature or because of the hostile behaviiour of other human beings, they did not depress me. On the contrary they helped me deal with my own teenage depression. I was inspired, for instance, by the story of that pregant Hardy heroine who has to get herself to hospital across Egdon heath on the bleakest of bleak days. Alone. She makes it by aiming for the next milestone, dragging herself along, clinging to it, while she rests, before setting off for the milestone ahead.

I still think of her now, when I am climbing a steep hill towards the end of the day, tired and short of breath. Like her, I target a place I can see ahead, where I can sit down and rest, to recharge my batteries before I press on towards the next milestone.

I thought of her when last Thursday night when I was listening to Claire Tomalin talking in Sturminster Newton about her biography, Thomas Hardy, The Time-Torn Man, now available in paper-back as well as hard-back. One of the main points of her talk, and her book, is that although Hardy lived long enough to win national and international acclaim, he died a disappointed man. He lived to write poetry. He wrote his novels to earn sufficient money to enable him to go on writing poetry. He wrote, some excellent poems, but even today he is has not achieved the five-star rating he longed for.

This mattered to Hardy. More than it should have done. Because he did not compromise his poet’s heart, when writing his novels. He was not attempting to write best-sellers, although several of the novels he wrote, became best-sellers. He had quite a battle with publishers to get his first great novel, The Return of the Native, published. Tomlin writes:

The greatness of The Return of the Native is that it as much the work of Hardy the poet as Hardy the novelist. All his novels have elements of poetry, but this is the first in which, although he had made his concepts into fiction, essentially he is setting down a poetic dream.

But not a Hollywood dream with a happy ending. As Tomlin notes:

Dreams, or nightmares. His tale ends in tragedy for most, three of the principal figures caught up in flight and disaster ending in death……….

Hardy wrote the Return of the Native in 1878, during the two years he lived in the house at Sturnminster Newton, pictured at the top of this blog, which we visited before the talk. Hardy did not much like the house, which is you can see is boring villa. But he loved the view over the Dorset countryside and down the River Stour towards the elegant bridge which leads into the centre of the town.

The picture below is of Claire Tomlin talking to three teenage girls, (who I did not get in the picture because I zoomed the phone too much to get a close up of the author). Yes, the teenagers told her, they were doing Hardy for A-levels.

But if it was a duty visit, they were clearly enjoying it. And their presence cheered me up. The book is not dead. These 2008 teenagers were not spending the evening drinking themselves into a stupor in the high street, or losing their money in New Labour’s casinos, or watching soap operas on one of the hundreds of channels showing them.

This cheered me up somewhat. Because I am writing this on the day all the media are full of stories about the Austrian man, who fathered children through incest with his own daughter, and kept her and them locked up in a cellar for more than twenty years. And all that time he was going out to do the shopping and chatting to neighbours, who, apparently, thought he was an ordinary human being, not the ogre he was. And all of it happening in a small town which is about the same size as Sturminster Newton, and where the houses are cheek by jowl.

Hardy, who wrote uncompromisingly about flawed human beings, who committed some atrocities against their nearest and dearest. But nothing in Hardy’s imaginings is anythting near to the inhuman behaviour of Jozef Fritzel.

As I wrote this paragraph I realised that the rain had stopped. The sun is now shining. I can just see the outline of Portland Bill through the mist. And there are three human figures on the beach. At least they look like human beings, but how can I be sure they are not inhuman beings taking a rest from abusing their nearest and dearest.

clairetom.jpg

Humphrey Lyttelton – a great human being

Sunday, April 27th, 2008

humph.jpg

This photograph of Humphrey Lyttelton, who died today, aged 86, is nicked from The Guardian web site, who in turn,  nicked it from the BBC, with attribution, of course. The photograph shows Humph exactly as he was when I last met him, just under a year ago, at a charity jazz concert, which he has given for the last several years at the Royal Free Hospital in London.

If you look at it, you can see, behind the glasses the twinkle in his eye. And as I gazed at it, I was conscious of my debt to him. I first ‘met’ him in 1955 when, aged 21, I had moved to London in the hope of finding a life, which was more interesting and inspiring than what I had so far experienced in Wolverhampton and Birmingham.

In those years, I did not really ‘meet’ him. I was sweating on the dance floor at 100 Oxford Street, being liberated by the music of the band, led by Humph on the trumpet. As you will read in the honest obituaries, including that by George Melly, his fellow British jazz musician, and his dear friend, Humph does not quite rank in the world jazz greats, although he was extremely professional and more than competant on the trumpet and the clarinet, as well as in band leading.

But, for me, Humph was my first experience of high quality jazz live. Which is as different an experience as jazz listened to on the radio or the record player, as is watching Match of the Day on the television, compared with being at ‘the match’. But as I got to know him, through chatting to him, after the annual charity concerts he did for the Royal Free Hospital, I realised that my greatest debt to him, is that he helped to form my political opinions. Because he knew that jazz was the music of the oppressed classes in the United States, part of the long struggle of America’s blacks to free themselves from slavery. Not surprising that so many jazz musicians died early of drug over-doses. But Humph, although he identified with their cry for freedom, was protected from self-destruction, by his own very priveldged background. About which more later.

But as I gaze at his photograph, I realise that my debt to more than I have said.  Because, although I am an enthusiastic listener, I have no musical abilities. But I do have a sense of humour, which is, as I now realise, is in part unconsciously modelled, on his example. It is laconic and ironic, with not a small element of self-deprecation. Quite often, his jokes were delivered in a dead pan style, so that you were not sure whether he was joking or being entirely serious. Unless, you noticed the twinkle in his eye. But, since he was so successful in radio comedy programmes, he must also have developed the ability, to speak with a twinkle in his voice.

In this obituary I want to pay tribute to his qualities as a human being. His contributions to jazz and broadcast comedy will be covered in other obituaries by people better qualified to speak on such subjects.

He came from a highly priviledged family.To find out just how priviledged that family was you will you have to go to the Wikepedia biog of his cousin, Oliver Lyttelton, who I also encountered on my voyage through life. There  you will find that his ancestors include the Grenvilles, who helped to save Britain from the Spandiards with their tiny ship, the Revenge. And also the Spencers, who gave us Winston Spencer Churchill, as well as Princess Di, who became the People’s Princess, but who actually came from a family far more distinguished in British history, than the upstart Germans, of whom our dear Queen is a descendant.

(Far from being a commoner, Princess Di, was upper drawer. Although quite as mixed up in her own personal identity as Charles, the older man who fell in love with her, she provided Brits and the world with the fairy story of a dream wedding, that excelled Hollywood as a propaganda message for the the triumpth of romantic love, regularised by Holy Matrimony. That marriage went wrong, and even this year, the father of her last lover, Mohammed al Fayed, has been trying to persuade an inquest jury, that she was murdered by the British establishment, who were not prepared to stomach her marriage to a Muslim. In fact, the British establishment did not care two hoots about whom Princess Di married. Although, they might have had some strong views, if Prince Charles, had decided to marry a Musilm for his second marriage, instead of his chosen stalwart of the county classes, Camilla Parker Bowles.)

Humph, I think, would not mind me including these digressions in his obituary.

Because in our conversations I challenged what he said to me. Including his oft repeated comment to gentlemen of the press, that he was a ‘romantic socialist’, a typical example of his self deprecation. He was in fact a serious practical socialist, who stuck with the beliefs that he had adopted, despite his highly Conserative family. His dad was a master at Eton. But Humph did not fill his band, with old Etonians, he filled his band with the best musicians.

Quite unlike that other Old Etonian, David Cameron, who is filling his shadow cabinet with fellow old Etonians, in the belief that these are the best people to govern England in the twenty-first century.

Humph, by contrast,  was still doing developing talent irrespective of class background,  in the years I knew him at his charity Royal Free Concerts. Bringing on good young musicians, because they were good musicians.

I also talked with Humph about his cousin, Oliver, who was a close friend of Winston Churchill, and one of the last British ‘colonial secretaries’, and went on after politics to become a business tycoon, as head of one of Britain’s then biggest electrical companies. In that job he was a disaster, and his reign opened the way for Lord Weinstock to grab AEI and most of the electrical industry in the interests of profit, but aided by the Wilson Labour government.

Oliver Lyttelton, by then enobled as Lord Chandos, went on from that commercial disaster to bring the arts to the South Bank of the Thames, so that all Londoners could go to high quality theatre, and in theaters whose acoustics were so much better than those in the West End, that you can actually hear what the actors say.

Humph, when he found himself performing jazz in the Lyttelton theatre on the South Bank, made one of his characteristic jokes, by saying it was his first appearance in the theatre which had been named after him. Quite how many of his audience saw the real joke I don’t know. But they all laughed, as audiences were prone to do at Humph’s jokes.

But that joke says a lot about Humph and about the British establishment and British elites. Humph came from the old British elite. He had the same education as his older cousin, Oliver, who went on from Eton to Cambridge, but unlike him, he went to work after school in the steel works in Port Talbot in South Wales. That experience led him, working cheek to cheek with the lower classes, to become a socialist.

Later, when the Second World War broke out, he followed the family tradition and like his cousin Oliver, served in the Grenadier Guards and saw serious action. But when he came out of the war he was still a socialist, despite his communion in the mess with the officers of one of Britain’s most elite regiments. And unlike many other socialists, he turned down the offer of a knighthood.

Humph is being written about widely today because he was a very good jazz musician. But also because he understood, and adopted the political message of jazz. Which in my view led him to socialism. He also was a very successful comedy broadcaster, but his jests also conveyed the views he held.

The news of his death came to me while I was doing battle with the present ruling elite of Britain, the US and other parts of the world. The likes of Rupert Murdoch and Vint Cerf, who according to Google is ‘the founding father of the internet’. Has Google not heard of Tim Berners Lee?

The difference between Humph and young James Murdoch, is that young James does not seem to realise that he is a fully paid up member of the present British elite. Young James is still fighting his father’s battles. And Rupert, when he tried to buy British newspapers, did get short shift from the then ruling British newspaper elites.

Which hurt him. But it is so long ago, that it might as well have been in the Stone Age. Today’s powerful elites are the Rupert Murdochs and the new immensely rich Google type internet entrepreneurs.

This obituary is a faithful reflection of the man Hunphrey Lyttelton, whom I met and talked with. But it must end, with that part of his legacy which will go on forever. His music. My computer nouse is so inadequate that I cannot put some of his music on my blog.

But I can conclude with a picture, nicked from Wikipedia, which shows his total professional absorption in playing the trumpet.

Which he did rather well.

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